DATING

John Barrymore once played the role of a father who disapproved of the man his daughter planned to marry. In one scene, the daughter had to ask Barrymore what he thought of her fianc�, who had just exited. Barrymore was supposed to answer, "I think he's a dirty dog." One night, when the bridegroom-to-be walked off stage, he accidentally tipped over a pitcher of water. Barrymore watched in fascination as a puddle formed. A moment later, his daughter asked, "What do you think of Tom, father?" "I think he's a dirty dog," Barrymore answered. Then he ad-libbed, "And what's more, he isn't even housebroken!" 

Bits & Pieces, December 13, 1990.

Statistics and Stuff

A study at a Midwestern school showed that 80% of the women who had intercourse hoped to marry their partner. Only 12% of the men had the same expectation 

Robert J. Collins in the Chicago Tribune, quoted in HIS, February, 1976.

Humor

I went over to my girlfriend's house, and found she'd already gone out with her boyfriend.