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    BARGAIN

    Our mammas did not hesitate to bargain. Questioning a price was standard procedure. "How much are these cucumbers?" "Two for five." The mamma pushed one aside. "And how much is this one?" "Three cents." "Okay. I'll take the other one." 

    Sam Levenson.


    Never buy a portable TV set on the sidewalk from a man who's out of breath. 

    Quoted in Funny Funny World.


    New York City's Mayor David N. Dinkins, when urged by Manhattan officials to buy some property thought to be an "extraordinary opportunity for the city," said: "If they're selling elephants two for a quarter, that's a great bargain. But only if you have a quarter--and only if you need elephants." 

    Leonard Buder in New York Times.