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    HUNTING

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under an eight point buck.

    "Where's Harry?" "Harry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

    "You left Harry laying there, and carried the deer back?"

    "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Harry." 

    The Jokesmith, Christian Clippings, p. 27.


    The hunter crouches in his blind

    'Neath camouflage of every kind,

    And conjures up a quacking noise

    To lend allure to his decoys.

    This grown-up man, with pluck and luck,

    Is hoping to outwit a duck.

    Ogden Nash.


    Officer Jim Heimerl , a Minneapolis policeman, was taking part in a 16.3 mile run in Grantsburg, Wisconsin. Jim was four miles into the race, in a cluster of runners not far off the pace of the leaders, when two deer ambled out of the woods and onto the road. The startled buck, no doubt distressed to find himself in the middle of a human marathon, began zigzagging wildly through the runners. Jim didn't even see the animal until the two of them collided and sprawled together onto the asphalt highway. Jim fell flat on his face, received a concussion and opened a nasty gash on his forehead that required 23 stitches. 

    "Luckily there was a doctor running the race not far behind me," Jim reported. "Because of the way my heart was pumping from running, I lost a lot of blood in a hurry. The doctor applied pressure and got it stopped." The buck, however, paid an even higher price for his encounter. The collision broke his leg and his back, and the only humane response was to quickly dispense him to the ranks of the deerly departed. Jin had already been admitted to a nearby hospital for repairs when state game officials called to tell him Wisconsin law holds that anyone who hits and kills a deer on a Wisconsin roadway can claim the deer. But since he didn't feel up to dealing with a dead deer, and since he didn't want to store the carcass in his station wagon in 80-degree heat while he recuperated overnight in the hospital, Jim declined the offer. He lamented his luck. "I hunt deer for 14 years without getting a thing, and then I get one while I'm running a race."

    Source Unknown.