Illustrations related to Humor
Below you will find classic humor--not a long list useless jokes.
Average number of laughs a person has in a day: 17
Charis Conn, Editor, What Counts: The Complete Harper's
The following was submitted for amusement by a person who wishes to remain anonymous.
Montana Daughter to Carolina Mother--
"I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we
did when you left. My hubby read in the paper where the most accidents happened within
twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't know the address for awhile yet as the last
Montana family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they
won't have to change their address.
This place we're rentin' has a washin' machine. The first day I put four new shirts in
it, pulled the chain, and I haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week: three
days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send that you forgot here was too heavy to send in the mail.
So we cut off the big buttons and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment on Aunty's
funeral bill, up she comes.
I heard that Sis had a baby this morning but I haven't been over there yet to find out
if it's a boy or a girl so I don't know if I'm and Aunt of an Uncle.
Our neighbor up the road fell in the whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he
fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three local kids from DeBorgia went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. The one that was
driving rolled down the window and swam out. The two sitting in the back drowned. They
couldn't get the tailgate down.
Not much to tell this time. Nothin' much happens 'round here.
Love, Your Daughter
Spurgeon was a character. His style was so
loose he was criticized again and again for bordering on frivolity in the Tabernacle
pulpit. Certain incensed fellow clergymen railed against his habit of introducing humor
into his sermons. With a twinkle in his eye, he once replied: "If only you knew how
much I hold back, you would commend me...This preacher thinks it less a crime to cause a
momentary laughter than a half-hour of profound slumber."
C. Swindoll, Growing Strong, p. 101.
How to cultivate a sense of humor:
1. Catch yourself in some amusing inconsistency and then laugh at yourself. This is the
foundation of a healthy sense of humor.
2. Note the inappropriate or funny things people say or do in public, and draw
parallels between those silly behaviors and your own. Positive humor goes beyond mere
criticism to a recognition of our common plight as less-than-perfect human beings.
3. Include in yor regular reading diet published collections of wit and humor, humor
columnists, comic strips, and stories by writers with a well-developed sense of humor.
4. Occasionally do something harmlessly absurd and totally out of character for your
5. Avoid sarcasm, ridicule, and excessive teasing. They hurt rather than heal.
Actress Carol Burnett got out of a cab one day and caught her coat in the door. The
driver was unaware of her plight and slowly began to edge out into traffic. To keep from
being pulled off her feet, the comedienne had to run alongside down the block. A passerby
noted her predicament and quickly alerted the driver. He stopped, jumped out, and released
Miss Burnett's coat. "Are you all right?" he asked anxiously. "Yes,"
she gasped, "but how much more do I owe you?"
Bits & Pieces, November, 1989,
Alexander Woollcott: In matters of speech, it's not elegance that interest me but
exactness. Precision. Surgical precision. Let me give an illustration--in the pattern of
the old story about Noah Webster, the man who wrote the dictionary. Of him it used to be
told that his wife once caught him in the pantry in the act of kissing the cook.
"Why, Mr. Webster," she said, "I'm surprised." "No, my
dear," he replied. "I'm surprised' you're amazed."