When George B. McClellan was commissioned Major General of the Army, he wrote his wife,
"I don't feel any different than I did yesterday. Indeed, I have not yet put on my
new uniform. I am sure that I am in command of the Union Army, however, because President
Lincoln's order to that effect now lies before me."
J.Kirk Johnston, Why Christians Sin, Discovery House,
1992, p. 74.
Newspaper columnist and minister George Crane tells of a wife who came into his office
full of hatred toward her husband. "I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to
get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me."
Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan "Go home and act as if you really love your
husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of
your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please
him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you've convinced him of your
undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that
you're getting a divorce. That will really hurt him." With revenge in her eyes, she
smiled and exclaimed, "Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!" And she
did it with enthusiasm. Acting "as if." For two months she showed love,
kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing. When she didn't return, Crane called.
"Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?"
"Divorce?" she exclaimed. "Never! I discovered I really do love
him." Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion. The ability
to love is established not so much by fervent promise as often repeated deeds.
J. Allan Petersen.
Feelings come and feelings go
And feelings are deceiving;
My warrant is the Word of God,
Naught else is worth believing.
Attributed to Martin Luther, quoted in The
Adversary, Mark Bubeck, Moody Press, p. 13.